In this post, you’ll find my unsolicited dating and relationship advice along with comfort food recipes. You may wonder why I would write such a post…
Well, I’m going to tell you why. I will keep it short and to the point, and if the advice is not for you, you may know someone who could use it. Dating, relationships, and jobs may have changed some, but how you think of yourself should be the top priority. There are some delicious recipes sifting throughout the post, so maybe it’ll just be a fun way to view some recipes. PS the advice doesn’t just have to be for dating, it really applies to friendships, jobs, and family.
My advice about relationships and dating and the 90-day rule…
All relationships have ups and downs, so if this advice is not relative to you if you only look at it as dating advice, read just a little and see if it applies to other areas. It’s no secret I love comfort food, so I added some fun recipes to go along with the advice!
If you don’t want the advice, just look at the pretty pictures, maybe you’ll get hungry and make a recipe.
The why behind writing this post is simple. I recall how challenging dating was years ago for me. I now get calls from one of my children for advice for themselves and their friends.
It ranges from first dates to dating for years and the problems that arise, the clues that were ignored, and the lessons learned this is my quick guide to relationships. I’m known to some as the advice giver, so here goes…
The BASICS to dating:
Dating and relationships can bring on all sorts of emotions, to help you find the best direction to go, give some of this a thought in the first 90 days of dating someone.
These are the recipe for the photo above:
Give it 90 days. A lot can happen in 3 months, this is advice that I feel is helpful when dating. Sometimes one date is all your need to know, this isn’t it!
Sometimes we date someone for a month and realize, this is not going in the direction I want. But sometimes we are in a situation that we “think” is ok. But when we really assess it, we aren’t all that truthful to ourselves.
We often hide the gut feeling that this is not really what I want, but “I’ll put up with it”, or “maybe it’ll change”. Do not try to convince yourself things WILL be ok, if they are not ok, trust your gut and leave.
No one really wants to be alone, it’s human nature.
We want to pair up… and on the outside, it may look easy, that some people have it so easy they have “someone”. But the truth is if that someone is not the right person, they could be miserable inside but hiding it on the outside and you won’t hear about the details until it’s over.
Don’t lie to yourself. I think you should talk the best to yourself, you’ll be living with YOU the longest, better start treating yourself well NOW!
We all have 24 hours in a day and we choose how we spend it.
Here are of my top 10 rules:
- They should be excited to see you, greet you nicely, know your name, remember how they met you, use good manners (like open the door for you) say kind words to you. You should notice that they took the time out of their day to make you feel special when you are first dating. If they don’t, you can bet they won’t all of a sudden start doing those things.
What you put up with and tolerate is up to YOU!
And you should be doing the same, if you took time to get ready, think about your outfit, hair, etc, so should they.
Don’t focus too much on previous relationships yours or theirs, focus on what’s right in front of you. Hopefully, you’re both being honest with each other and looking to get to know each other better without thinking and comparing the other to a previous relationship.
Be nice, like a sugar cookie!
- In the first 90 days…
You should have met their friends and hopefully at least 1 family member. If you have not, you’ve got to think to yourself. Have they seen their friends or family, then why hasn’t it been important for them to introduce you.
If they give you reasons as to why they haven’t such as, well I don’t get along with my family? Really… that’s a red flag. Maybe they don’t get along with one member, but everyone? Are they deflecting it so they look like a good person and everyone is the problem. Better give that a second thought.
If they say they don’t have time, people are unavailable, that doesn’t sound like someone who is really looking to introduce you, ask yourself why.
– why meet friends/family? they give you a clear insight as to who they really are, not just how they act with you. If people say, they are a loner, we never thought they’d have a girlfriend/boyfriend, is that just another way of saying they are selfish and really don’t put others in their life at an important level?
If you get the feeling they aren’t being honest, run
If you think they are crazy, run
If you don’t really like what you’ve seen or experienced so far, run
Why put up with problems at the beginning of dating, it’s not going to get better, you know that!
Don’t be afraid of being by yourself, you end up limiting who you can be spending time with, the possibilities are endless.
When you put positive energy into finding a new boyfriend/girlfriend, job, house, or car, it’s amazing how quickly things turn around and change, but sitting idly by does not help anything.
Be an active participant in your own life, no one is going to do it for you.
Don’t waste your time on bad relationships, friendships, jobs, or situations, you can change them any time you want.
The worst decisions are often made out of fear and the best made out of possibilities.
If you want something crazy try my Chocolate Spaghetti.
- In 90 days, most people experience at least one of the following
-Exciting/happy: new job, raise, accomplishment
-Sad/disappointing/stressful situation: loss of job, illness/death of someone/pet, family conflict, work conflict
You’ll get to see how each of you communicate with each other about it, if the other is genuinely supportive, happy, caring or resentful, angry, or bothered by inconvenience, and see how things go between you both. This is why you are dating, to find out of they are a good match for YOU.
Remember life is unpredictable and you’ll be dealing with how the other person handles things all the time.
If you want to make something that’s incontinent try a recipe that takes time like Icing Cookies with a piping bag, or give my easy icing method a try!
- Do not be afraid for them to see the real you! We all have moods, emotions, and behaviors. If they are the right person, they may not notice what you feel is a flaw, but give both of you a chance, to get to know the people you really are.
Don’t pretend to be easygoing if you aren’t ok with things, because when you get tired of “acting” like things don’t bother you, they spend the time getting to know the fake you not the real you, it’s just a waste of everyone’s time. Time is precious, waste it wisely!
If you want something fake… make my shortcut “fake” Thanksgiving dinner.
- Do not be afraid to ask difficult questions!
You know, the things you want to know, but don’t want to seem… pushy, rude, forward, etc. What do you really want? What don’t you want? Family, Kids, Money, Time spent alone/away, what you like, don’t like about where you live?
Ask, so you know the answer, often there is so much compromise though life, people do sometimes change how they feel/think about things as they mature, it’s ok to change your mind, it’s how you or they respond to the change that matters.
You want to know the answers now, not later when you are fully invested and think, really I’ll have to start dating all over again, I’ll never find anyone, no one will tolerate my flaws, no one will love me like…, really those are all things said out of fear! Fear is like poison, a drop may not kill you, but more is deadly.
The longer you date or that time goes by in a relationship the bigger the heartache. Just think of the last time you felt about how difficult it would be to start over. If you find out things about the person you’re dating, be upfront and talk about it, don’t be afraid to get the answers you want.
If you want easy, make my Simple Mexican Rice Recipe.
- Dating is a time to really see if you both are compatible with each other, not just if they are a good fit for you. Do you fit into their life, do you like what it looks like, do you find yourself changing everything to “fit in” with what they like, are you being yourself or trying to be what you think they would want. Are you hiding who you really are, what you really think. Let them know the real you, the right person won’t be disappointed.
Fun-compatible flavors you might not expect, salty and sweet combination recipes.
- Value yourself. You have a lot to offer, don’t be afraid to make a list of your best qualities, it’s a refreshing list to look at when you’re not feeling so positive, and it’s great to reflect on and add to so you know you are the person you really want to be.
The most valuable chicken recipe ever, really it’s the most requested chicken recipe make it and you’ll know why!
- Watch out for warning signs, don’t ignore them, they only amplify. This recipe is messy, you’ve been warned!
If you want a recipe with a warning, this one can be messy, but so fun!
- Poor communication is bad for everyone. Sit down and talk.
Maybe make some of these to snack on while you chat, easy and delicious and only takes minutes to make.
- Find someone who you not only like, but like who you are when you are with them, and feel excited to see again. Listen to your gut, it’s a sure sign of reality. Our intuition is there for us to trust, it’s not often wrong.
Life is full of surprises, full of ups, and downs, and this recipe will help you make the most of what you have.
Make sure your life is full of all the things you want, this is not a dress rehearsal! Value yourself (be kind to yourself, especially what you say inside your own head, value the time you have to yourself, and with others, and if you feel you wish you could say something to someone, say it. Most of all value good health, mental and physical.
It’s not about dating, but comfort food to match the day you’ve had:
Having a good day, let’s celebrate with some delicious comfort food, for me that usually involves chips and cheese… having a bad day, that’ll call for some pasta, or let’s sit around a warm bowl of soup and chat, then when you least expect it, a break-up, that often calls for chocolate UGH…
We all remember breakups, dating and just trying to figure life out we are all still trying, right?!? Well, I wrote down this guide if you know someone who is dating, going to be dating, or just wants some unsolicited advice on dating, send them this post. Some day maybe I’ll write down all my dating stories. WOW, that would be a page-turner. But in the meantime, my guide will have to do.
My favorite comfort food recipes I make all the time:
Pasta– Pasta and Meat Sauce, Baked Ziti, Creamy Mac and Cheese
Chocolate-Chocolate Cake, Brownie Cookies
Soup- Corn Chowder, Zuppa Toscano
Chips –Guacamole with Bacon and Goat Cheese, Cheesy Jalapeno Dip
Drink- Whipped Coffee, Chocolate Soda, Kentucky Dirty
Appetizer Tortilla Empanadas, Pizza Dip, Baked Crispy French Fries
- Chocolate Chip Skillet Cookie Bites
- Lemon Scones
- Frosted Soft Sugar Cookies
- Chicken Parmesan Meatballs
- Baked Ziti
- Grilled Steak with Chimichurri Sauce
I wish everyone a happy life and delicious food!